வாரணம் ஆயிரம் பார்த்தேன்...

முதலில் தமிழில் எழுதும் வசதியை செய்துகொடுத்த google நிறுவனத்திற்கு மிக்க நன்றி. மகேஷ் ஒரு பொறியியல் மாணவன்,ஒரு keyboard கலைஞன் ,என்பதற்கு எல்லாம் முன்பாக, மகேஷ் ஒரு நல்ல தமிழன். So here's my current state of mind as I put it in a bilingual foul scratch. Hi hi.

எனது நண்பர் ஒருவர் மேடை ஒன்றில் பேசியபோது கூறியதாவது:

"நான் வளரும்போதெல்லாம் என்னை தட்டி கொடுத்த நண்பர்களுக்கு நன்றி., என்னை தட்டி விட்ட நண்பர்களுக்கு அதை விட பெரிய நன்றி " என்று உரையாற்றினார்.

I have my own complexes. Everyone has...but if we turn them into positive energies, Even the 'oh-so-perfect' individual is no match for us. This small inferiority complex is what fuels my drive towards victory. You could have listened to all these 'rags-to-riches' stories, but lemme tell ye, the truth is out there.

திரைபடங்கள் பார்பதுண்டு, திரைபடத்தை திரைப்படமாக பார்க்க கற்றுகொண்டேன்...உலக உண்மைகள் பல படங்களில் உலாவுவதை கண்டு வியந்ததுண்டு...இருப்பினும் இளைஞர்களுக்காக எடுக்கப்படும் படங்கள், அவர்களது சுத்தமான எண்ணங்களை களங்கப்படுத்துவதாக தோன்றுகிறது. My english teacher used to tell me in school...'partial nudity is the most dangerous element of today's cinema' . I can realize that only now. The point is, there is no clear genre boundaries in art. I guess that is what is causing all the trouble.


I'm not much of a movie addict. Over the years, I've developed a hatred towards Tamil movies. தமிழ் படங்களை பார்த்து Hollywood நோக்கி ஓடிய பலருள் நானும் அடக்கம். பல ஆங்கில படங்களை பார்த்து பிரமித்ததுண்டு. I am a man,so I seldom cry. Atleast now I'm emotionally OK. Before that, during my teens, I don't quit remember crying. I've lived a fairly 'very' smooth life.Today, I bunked class, was sitting completely idle, and all of a sudden started watching வாரணம் ஆயிரம். My friends have long told me that the film was (especially the dad-Krishnan) resembled my real life counterparts. Hi Hi.. :-) But I just couldn't handle Gautham Menon in such a genre. அவர் ஒரு மகா முதிசாளி என்பது அறிவேன், ஆனால்..இவளவு அழகான சிற்பி என்று இன்றுதான் அறிந்தேன். And yes, by shear luck my dad is so much like the father portrayed in that movie. He is waaaay moer than wat I deserve. (And I sure am waiting for Sameera Reddy and the other girl in that movie ;-) hi hi. Hope they're as good lookin as the actresses. ) Yesterday I was going through my certificate file. It has almost every certificate that I've obtained in my life. அதில், சில shooting certificates இருந்தது...I was looking at them and wondering...how we lost many of them in the flood and அதுக்கு எல்லாம் duplicate வாங்க சென்னை முழுவதும் அலைந்த அலைச்சல் எனக்கு மட்டும்தான் தெரியும்...எல்லா அப்பாக்களும் நெனைப்புதான்,என் அப்பா செய்து காட்டுவார். See..I'm not a guy who usually talks like this. But this movie is making me open up. Besides...atleast for once in my life let me speak out.

I'm a mechie.I grow up with machines. But I've never seen an acting machine like Surya. Literally the credit goes to him. He has oberved so much and that is seen quite clearly in the screen. மனைவியிடம் குழந்தை போல மாறுவதுதான் பல ஆண்களின் சுயரூபம்... I saw such a Surya today. Hat's off... you are no ordinary man. The father's role was just stuck to reality. The way he looks at his son, tremendous. Keep rocking Gautham Menon...you are the jewel that Indian Cinema has long been searching.ஆங்கில படங்களுக்கு நிகராக தமிழ் படங்களை தூக்கி நிறுத்தும் கெளதம் மேனனுக்கு சலாம்...

மீண்டும் எண்ணங்கள் கொட்டும் வரை,

உங்கள்

மகேஷ்...

Yup...I see the signs....

Ha ha ha.. just a few minutes ago I tuned into the news and it said in bold letters "GAY IS NOW LEGAL". It was one sentence that I personally didn't expect to see or hear till say about 20 years from now. But yes today it happened. Today school kids are gonna know what same sex marriage is all about. Or maybe India has already educated it's youth about all this...either way,here are the numbers; India is a country with over 2.31 million people who are HIV positive. Our education board is still pretty much confused about including 'education' into the curriculum. Yet we make bold statements about India becomin' a superpower. Oh I guess it is now baby... with all the gay couple spreadin' this disease around without the proper knowledge about what is what. In my opinion, the judgment is pretty cool, it's a great sign that we are (or at least pretending to) respecting individual feelings, but before you bring in a new rule, shouldn't you educate people about what this is all about? I mean half of us don't even know what gay marriage is! And on top of all this, all of the religious leaders are now gonna do what? Sit and pray that the country's 'family fabric' stays intact? Oh I can assure you it ain't now. So many teenagers are now confused about all this that they don't know how to react to such a situation. For now, it's legal, for the sake of being legal. Like what i said before, it will take another decade for us to see gay couples drivin' cars holdin' hand in hand. But I can assure you...India is growing...that's the way shit happens here...

Death of a lonely king

You can change the world (I can't do it by myself)
You can touch the sky (Gonna take somebody's help)
You're the chosen one (I'm gonna need some kind of sign)
If we all cry at the same time tonight.

-Michael Jackson (Cry)

This morning... turned on the news,... it was quite shocking to learn that the king of pop died. Couldn't imagine this actually. Seems he died outta a heart attack.

In a way, I'm an ardent fan of the butterfly effect of the chaos theory. In a way, I'm sitting here typing this in front of my computer because of MJ. It is also a scary concept if you understand it well..leads you to think that someone somewhere, unaware of what he/she's doing,is actually shaping your actions. But MJ did shape a lotta things.This man defeinitely shaped the music industry.

The music paraphernalia of today is definitely influenced by Michael Jackson. His way of doing things was the happening thing in the 1970's. So naturally music companies would have very well shaped their gear for MJ kinda music. The softwares I use today has more pop elements than ever before, and MJ has everything to do with it. Thanks MJ for givin' us the music. Especially my favorites like You rock my world, Billy Jean is not my lover, heal the world (which is making me cry now as I type now),Thriller, Cry,Liberian girl and Childhood.

It appears he was a troubled lonely man. But I wonder, who is really not lonely? Everybody is all the time,in a way or other really lonely...makes me give new meanings to phrases like 'lonely man in a crowd'. Even after all the comedy in the media about him, people still respect the king of pop. MJ is really KING for he ruled once..and now, every other man living in this age can say proudly that he/she lived and roled in the time of the King of pop...long live your music.

Just celebrate with me

Yesterday..28th of May 2009 was the happiest day of my life till date. Don't ask for reasons, it was. Just celebrate with me. One day this day might go into my biography or something...who knows? 

At 3.50 p.m. I was the happiest person on earth. Don't know why, but such a simple thing as that made me feel so. So just wanna announce this to the world via the internet. I don't really have best friends and all...just that every one is at the same level for me. So I got to share this with someone so I thought why not put it on the blog.

Our choices determine our life right? What if all our choices are 100% unbiased? Wouldn't it be great? We can actually design our life. Many a times I'm frustrated...i keep asking myself Y can't I do things that I actually want to do? I believe almost everyone reading this blog is bound by such stupid laws..but I don't know if it's me, but this whole disappointment happens to me in a lot of different ways. At one time, there is perfect contentedness and a big smile on my heart, and the next second...I'm broken into pieces. Then as usual, times comes into my life, and eventually brings me back to normal. I've yelled inside... why me always?! Or does this happen to everyone too? I keep pondering...

I want to talk about some social topics next, and try to justify for that from my point of view. So please keep checking. 

Bye for now... 

Taj Mahal's Beauty

Tourism is an interesting phenomenon... it makes or breaks some places in the world.Take the sleepy town of Roswell for example. It reached it's epitome of fame due to the rumour that there was a space ship recovered from there. So is India a noticeable victim of tourism. We have the natural tendency to just look at strange stuff in the name of tourism. I can't blame them...and it ain't their fault too. So I detest going on tours and that too on a bus with so many people around. My idea of an ideal tour has only me and my bike or my car in it. Solitude is what I look for in a vacation tour. I can just use that moment of solitude to breathe in deeply and even get myself some personal space. I can still remember how I suffered with headache during the last big family trip.

But there are places that I wanted to see. Like the Elora caves if I'm correct, has the cave drawings of old Indians and all. One more spot on my wish list was the Taj Mahal...not because I liked it, but to just stand next to it and feel proud about it. In my view point, it's a representation of Indian art rather than love. For love, you don't need hundreds and hundreds of artisans and workers. A rose or a sweet kiss on the forehead can do more than that.

My dad used to go on official trips to Delhi. But my mom was kinda hesitant to ask him to take us too. One fine day. however, she gathered the guts to ask my dad, and ya he said OK. So I started charging my camera batteries and was checking if I had enough tape for the trip. After a three day travel (I enjoyed that part more than anything), we reached Delhi. We were in a nice cozy room. I looked out of the window then...when I was 14 or so.. I could see air conditioners, and one more huge box hanging from a window. So I thought 'maybe due to extreme weather these folks are getting a big air conditioner or something'. Then I realized they are ingenious inventions called air coolers ha ha ha. They're basically simple, but very effective when it comes to cooling. So we took off to Agra finally...

There it was!!! Bigger than I imagined!!! Not enough adjectives. Till that moment, I had meagre respect for Taj Mahal. But after that moment, I was running literally to get a closer look at it!!! The carvings just blew me off! Such splendid workmanship...loved it. If that was really for a woman, then I say to her, mam, you've such a fine man for a husband. It was huge and no wonder it managed to get into the world wonders list. My dad and mom were posing like Pak president Mudharaf and his wife. It was kinda funny watching them like that. At that time, a friend of mine wanted me to compose a song praising Taj Mahal for it's victory. It was tough I tell ye! Coz at that time, A.R.Rahman's Ek Mohabbat he was a good hit among his fans. So I have to careful not to produce something that even resembles that song by a teeny bit. I tried doing it the non-conventional way. I called my lyricist, told him the situation, and he gave me the most wonderful lyric that I can imagine!!

Chocolate பேப்பரில் சுருண்டு கொண்டது பூமிதான்

water பாட்டிலில் தேங்கி கொண்டது காவிரி

நெற்றி பொட்டில் ஒளிந்து கொண்டது வெண்ணிலா

வானம்கூட நம்மை பார்க்குதே ஏனென்றால்

Taj Mahalin அழகு உலகை கவர்ந்து போனதே...

Then I sat with my keyboard for a tune, and as expected, it had the regular chemicals inside it to make it an agmark taj mahal song. It was nice. I like it. At least my friend Sashank like it when I showed it to him first. Then I thought maybe for the first BGM I'll make a humming and try making one singer sing it. It was a new effort that I hadn't tried so far. After a week the song was ready, and at last I sang my track, which is the main of course, and after many phases of pitch corrections, released the song in a local F.M. channel. But I still wasn't happy. Something was missing, cause i wanted to make this song big in one way or the other.

The next summer too I was in Delhi, same Agra fort, then Taj Mahal... was sitting near the entrance thinking about stuff when my phone rang. My ring tone, incidentally was my Taj Mahal song. I was happy that the Taj Mahal heard my song which was dedicated to her. I let it ring for a long time...and then gave Taj Mahal a friendly pat on her shoulder,as if to ask "Are you happy with my song?" then took the call.

Yaeee... my song reached the Taj... great. I wasn't expecting such a 'grand release'. ;-) Luv u Taj...

I belong...

It was during the last  few working days of my twelth standard that I started composing effectively  with softwares and more than that, I started composing based on feelings rather than on the flow.That was also the time during which I started taking my bike out for really long rides. As far 100 kms a day, during which I took pictures that would presumably give me some inspiration for my songs. Coz I figured out that during my holidays, I would have plenty of time and resources to compose many songs. I incidentally found out that there was a mini waterfalls in Tiruchi itself! 

One good friend of mine during my school days was Sharjeel. He was this extreme Pokemon fan and had (and still has) a good command over the English language. So here was the situation, both of us had enough and more liking for good songwriting, but that spark....that sync never happened till one day.Many interesting researches and awe inspiring tunes used to flood my brain only during my french classes. We even made attempts to disprove newton's laws LOL! Hunger too was one of the reasons that I used to sing during those classes. My friends enjoyed it too, or atleast said so to stop me from singing further.Our french madame was a very great woman. I don't remember her losing her temper at all. And sadly, Sharjeel was a Hindi student. So we never got to meet at all.

I believe good things come to only those who wait . And so it happened that an elderly dude breathed his last. Sharjeel was sitting on the last row and so was I. It was around 3 P.M. I guess, and so it was kinda boring. Atleast Sharjeel was bored a lot. So he took a piece of paper (actually the question paper of morning's exam). He started scribbling some lines on it. And he thrust it into my hand. I read it...and it was infact good... the lines read:

I belong to the siren's song unheard

I belong to the broken skies above

I realize that the many joys inside come from deep inside

Of all the things that happened to me

All these years

What would I give to be myself?

I just can't believe I'm finding myself.

My earth is taken away from me

I'm leaving my footsteps to help you when you lose yourself.

I was like...'man... this is great man!! May be one day we can fix a tune and make it into a tune'.

Pictures and music are like two eyes of human feelings..atleast that's what I believe in.I like to stare at a picture for hours and hours together just tryin to find out what the image wants to tell me. At the time Sharjeel showed me the lyric, I saw a picture in my mind...it was this girl...in angel clothing...walking in a field...like the girl in Wordsworth's Solitary Reaper. That mental image drove me to sit and compose for this lyric. And...

nothing happened... LOL.. I just couldn't fit a tune for it. Later I realized how stupid that approach was. Then one fine day I was browsing the net. And lucky enough, I found this one picture that just blew me away. It was in fact better than what I had in mind. Then this first line of Sharjeel's poem hit me. 'I belong to the broken skies above' .One thing led to another and the next morning I had my tune ready. 

In the following week, I sat with Sharjeel and made him complete the lyric according to the new tune. And what do ye know! He did a tremendous job. We went in for recording, Sarah did a wonderful job of singin' it, finally after a month, the track FINDING MYSELF was ready.

General...

Let me start writing.A blog cannot be empty so let me pour out something now. Yesterday was thinking about what an infinitesimally tiny, extremely ignorant race of evolved monkeys we humans are. I can see many faces frowning and eye brows shooting upwards, but I'm afraid this is it...can't hide the truth for long. No wonder people try to remain in their comfort zones and ponder about facts. They're pretty content with the seemingly true data that is stored inside of them. So...what are we gonna do about it?! Just go about nodding our heads and get involved in cult activities, or stand up for the truth and shout it out loud? Till very recently, I had a chunky amount of belief on Indian youth, but I'm sorry...things just haven't changed yet. I know I'm not alone...and I don't say I'm special. But people don't lose heart...start fighting.

Think Jai hind would be a better phrase than Jai ho...he he ...