Resolutions...

Hello! First things first. My hearty new year wishes to everyone reading this post.
Last year was one of the most industrious,exciting and joyous years of my twenty odd years here on earth. If there is one year which will win an Oscar just like that, then it will be 2010. 2010 will naturally win for the shear amount of drama in it. So here I am, cherishing those moments that made my life eventful.
The earliest image of new year's day that I can remember is that of 1994.I remember sitting on a tank and watching my aunt draw a kolam on the floor. I even remember making a small attempt myself but to this day, I don't know how the women here do it. I must conclude now that it is genetically programmed into a woman...err....much like how boys are so skilled with mundane tasks that requires reasonable balancing abilities and works that require dexterity or out right lateral thinking for that matter. (Whoa!! Can't stop supporting men ;-) It's also one of the traits that are programmed into us.).So, as I was saying, I remember many such new year's eve celebrations in my life.
One other notable occasion that I can recall is an image of the night sky,coconut tree, intermittent flashes from the fire-cracker that was lit a few yards away from me. And that was in the year 2000...and that's my view when I stood like Leonardo Di Caprio from the movie Titanic and gazed at the new skies waiting for us humans to explore as I was an astronomy freak back then ( I even had my own secret laboratory set up in my backyard following Dexter-boy genius ha ha ha.).But over the decade, I've started realizing that real and serious exploration is needed elsewhere. We have to start digging into the fathoms of our psyche. From that day till now, I've gone through a lot...good and bad...won many times...lost even more times. But today, I am what I am and I owe it all to the last decade.
I have a faint recollection of watching a program on the discovery channel that talked about how students learning Karate get stronger knuckles. It was about how by repeated hammering of the bones of the hand, the bones shatter in micro proportions and then reconstitutes itself only to become stronger every time. May be the same applies to our psychological development too! May be , by getting hurt a lot, we are actually getting our minds ready for a sweeter,more fulfilling life.
The strange thing is, of all the victories that has taken place in this decade,this year's is the best. Of all the times that I've fallen down,hurt my heart real badly, this year wins. It's quite contrasting but as I was saying, it has only made me stronger.
It's new year season, I find many changes in the air. For one, there's a lot of garbage entering my home in the forms of calendars,personal diary,pamphlets,etc.One other change is the increasing interests amongst teenagers and college goers to 'see' into the future. Horoscopes,Tarots, Sun sign, star sign and every other sign gets into full swing right from the beginning of December onwards. Of course,everyone's got that desire in them, there's no doubt about it, even then, at times it looks like people are lazy to work in order to create the platform that they want to create. Or may be I'm wrong. I could be wrong, because a little help or a push can't hurt anyway. We are social beings, and if someone walks up in front of your face and tells you that your year is going to be great then sure,you'll be happy. One of my closest pals she called me up and told me this year my creativity will get it's true place in the media. Well, I'm happy, but I'm not sure from where she got such a tailor-made material on the internet.But sure, I was happy and that too I was actually trying to make that the opening line of my plans for this year.
The age of greeting cards has disappeared. Nowadays, I would prefer getting a card if it is for my girlfriend or some hilly billy who hasn't heard the word internet in his life. All other are greeted today electronically. Animated cartoons appear at the click of  a button and also get deleted at the same speed. So what about the avalanche of memories that get triggered at the sight of a birthday card that your loved one sent you a while back?! Now what are we gonna do in this electronic age? Facilities come to life with some serious trade offs.
One other way by which I wish people on festival seasons is short message setting a.k.a. SMS. So Two days back I sit with the cell phone and started sending a total of 300 odd messages to majority of the contacts in my mobile phone. Every time someone gets a message from me and they reply back in simple ways like "Happy new Year buddy" or well crafted ASCII pictures and art. One particular person taught me a nice lesson in an indirect way. His reply : "Convey my wishes to your family, happy new year". That's when it hit me that I should not only wish the person on the other end, but a wish can be spread over un charted territory
too. So people please take part in wishing people on auspicious days and also their families without fail.
New year also brings time for resolutions. I find the idea very funny,because it is my firm belief that feelings don't change over night. There will surely revert back to normalcy,so that you need not act properly.So I have,for the first time, come up with some realistic 'plans' rather than dreams.It is a multi-faceted plan actually.One that ranges from getting back to shape to as big as getting into a company. Hope I live with the same positive spirit throughout the year.I googled this out of curiosity and found the following simple pages on resolutions in case any of you or your friends are having a trouble getting their resolution.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/neal-barnard-md/avoid-these-five-new-year_b_802598.html
This can help you choose :- http://www.123newyear.com/resolutions.html
Look!!! There's even a Wikipedia page about this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year's_resolution
Who would've thought!!
I also googled '2011' and found out that it has been designated as the International Year of Forests and International Year of Chemistry and that on my birthday this year, a lunar eclipse is scheduled to occur.
Other major plans for this year are to spend less, engage myself in good music, not to eat too much...in short, get back to being myself .Yeah right..at least let's see if I'm changing into a new leaf this year.

Only 365 days remain. I'm optimistic that it will not be the end...but there's a narrow gap through which I've to go in order to make my life wonderful. Let us see. Let us see.If anyway I am going to be different every year, and then there is little change, then even try not losing control. Because a resolution is a resolution.
And the sands of time keep falling...waiting for none.

The want to be a "GUY"

Hello guys...

This is gonna b my first blog...hurrey...my first blog...Yes,my blog is bout "my want, to be a guy".I love addressing people as "guys" irrespective of their gender.Yes,I see a guy in every gal and I always want gals to come outta their shell and be bold and independent in this society.Well,for sure, this is not going to be on gender inequality.Its all about my fantasy to attempt to study or enjoy a man's world.

Though there are certain things bout gals of which I feel proud bout(things lik No man can give birth to a baby),but still there's always a greater excitement wen u drive a bike as cool as a guy or somethin of that sort bout making u stand apart from typical shy minded gals. Jus give a kick and try riding a FAZER or PULSAR, u'l find nothin more exciting on this earth than riding it in front of a gang of guys.Wow wat a feel!!!...Hmmm yes,I remember it started with a challenge wen I tried riding a scooter wen my schoolmate(a gal-my competitor) did it.First time,it was so heavy that I cud'nt even move the scooter.But later I rode it to school with all great pride.Sorry for making this blog a one similar to an autobiography.But still,I wanted to share this.

Gals should always have a quest to explore a "MAN'S WORLD".That'l make ur life interesting wen that experience helps u move in balance with ur guy.Yes gals,U'l feel proud in being a real and an IDEAL PARTNER.Guys are always guys.So wen U start treating a guy the way another guy wud treat,then everthin is done.U get straight into that guy's heart.The feel of admiration on u from their side wud slowly turn into affection ,then LOVE and YES ur guy wud start loving u with all his heart wen he knows that u look and respect his deep feelings as a guy.

I still try doing everytin to know even the atomic details of a guy's world by having a deep intellectual talk with an intellectual guy.Well thats all for now,will b back soon with more secrets of a man's world.ha ha ...

Looking Indian...being Indian...

Writer Sujatha

Hello...

Last night I was watching a wonderful talk show.The topic also, was one of my favorites;it was a debate between internet addicts and noobs. Many nice points and many new angles to the debate were given. At the end of the show, the addicts won! Which took me by surprise, coz here in India, especially in this state, Tamil Nadu, the internet is not so much into the lives of the people. It is still a commodity that only the elite and the tech savvy have discovered. The possibilities are endless but, people somehow miss out on all those and end up giving generic duties to the internet...like a teenager uses it exclusively for social networking...facebook or orkut...two of the numberous sites that are popular here in the south...parents use it to find a bride or a groom for their son/daughter (I'll talk about this later) ,and for the rest, it's either porn or email. 

So no one here is bothered about what else is possible. I see 8 year old kids who are perfectly comfortable with a windows PC and maintain such professional-looking facebook and orkut pages. Yet, many here, don't fully discover anything about the internet. And I have to point fingers to the IT sector. Usually, guys and gals who get into this sector are supposed to be tech savvy, but the grim reality is that most aren't good enough with word processors,but they can code programs for like forever.

I'm a mechanical engineer, and I rate myself as a decent blogger and a social networking addict, whereas many of my peers who work in IT and allied don't even know what a blog is!! Of course, this is not a crime, but word processors and spreadsheets?...hmmm... inexcusable.

The show had wonderful points. One of the main accusations from the opposing team was that most libraries aren't digitized yet. Well I can gladly answer that question. The answer begins from another question of how serious tamilians are about tamil.

Half a year back, myself and my friend Muthu were staying at a hotel in Chennai for our engineering project. And it so happened we were staying next to a whole group of dental surgery students who have come here for a presentation. We were jobless, and so decided to hang out by the door and look at those guys and gals like as if they were zoo animals. True...there were nice gals,  (only some of them) but I found something else interesting. These dentists were talkin in Hindi,and I don't know so much Hindi. I was trying to make out what they were saying. That is when I felt a bit ashamed and amazed too at the same time. 

In the 15 plus minutes of their wait for the elevator, I couldn't find even a word in english..naturally I was searching for known words, but nope...unsuccessful. They were even referring to many technical stuff,I'm sure, but still, they were comfortable with Hindi. 

If the same group was tamil, there would be almost a 15-20% inclusion of foreign words...english or hindi. Many here,especially teenagers,think it's uncool to talk fully in tamil. I have personally faced many bizarre looks when I use archaic words and try to talk fully in tamil. Sometimes I feel like a total jackass,but hey...atleast I know a few words more than the rest of 'em. So I move on.

So coming back to our issue, the libraries would be digitized if tamil internet explodes first....which in my opinion,will never happen. Even presently, wikipedia and google is available in tamil. Well, I don't think anyone uses them. Why is that you ask? Because most of the technical terms like save,forward,history etc. sound so lame in tamil. Anyway that is how it should be...you can't expect cool sounding names to key computer operations.I would say these lame translations may have resulted due to a poor technical and mainstream vocabulary. Now I'm not saying there ain't enough words, but there ain't enough technical words..surely not enough to teach engineering in tamil. Teaching physics in tamil itself is a nigthmare...so forget engineering.

One of my favorite writers is Sujatha. Besides being a writer, and an engineer, notable credit goes to him for introducing many technical terms to the tamil world and for coining many new terminologies in tamil. Nanotechnology for example has a cool name in tamil. (I'm sorry my memory fails me at times). So such vocabulary enrichments are not happening on a wide scale. The rate of growth of technical vocabulary is expected to be comparable with the growth rate of new technology. Only then can one expect any kind of technical writings in tamil.

Only after this happens, a bulk of the tamil youth can get a sense of belonging to tamil. Otherwise,tamil will just be left out due to it's inefficient process of extension of words. Now, one can question about digital libraries. Yes, with today's technology, its quite possible, but tamil scholars don't have enough technical know-how to convert a book into a pdf or something. The focus now turns to the youth and the vast number of IT employees. It is to be noted, that I'm not accusing IT for all this, but surely IT lifestyle has brought down interest in tamil. I'm expecting to meet a blogger,who belongs to IT and blogs around in tamil.It is these techie geniuses who have to take steps to ensure that nice scriptures and manuscripts aren't lost into the depths of a dusty old library building. Trust me, there are many people who want to read things in tamil. I,for example, would be delighted to see a copy of Sujatha's books online. Incidentally, Sujatha being a futuristic man, has made arrangements for that too. So now, I'm happy. 

There is a general dogma that tamil speakers are uncool among the youth,and now I can extend this sect to hotel security guards too.Recently,one of my friends was in need of an information about a hotel's tariff. So I,being a good friend,walked into that hotel to get him the same. I walked up to this security guard and asked him in a fairly feeble voice about where I can get info on tariffs and pricing. And I don't know if it was the way I was dressed,my walk, or the way I looked, but he was barking at me and treating me like some third world alien. Keen, on getting the information, I walk in,finish my job, on the way out, I catch the guard and bluntly ask him about his behavior,and as expected he profusely apologizes for his mistake. But it still left me puzzled and urged me to draw this prompt conclusion that one is judged by the quality of language that he uses. It certainly meant that I talked in pure tamil, which was not getting me any respect,and maybe another guy who talked half baked english might get the kind of attention that originally I deserved. If this is the state, I am forced to believe that the tamil language cannot extend into the future. It will soon,in the course of a few hundred years,become just another language. 

Appearances do count in today's society. I want to dress up like a 16 year old, I try and fail disastrously, but still,that's how I want to portray myself. My father is a banker. He meets so many odd people daily. Generally, bankers are considered as soft people who just live life to spend time on this earth. But my dad has his thing for bikes. He always looks for power and speed. To him, it's all about the quality performance that one can expect from a bike or a car. 

So one day this two wheeler salesman met my dad and my dad was asking him for suggestions. And judging from my father's profession and looks, he suggests a moped...for which my dad replied,as usual, that he needs a powerful bike. Similarly, all politicians go for SUV's and MUV's no matter what.So what does this imply? People go for stereotypes which are even based on looks. First it was race, then religion,class of people, now occupation and looks is a serious cause of branding someone? Is such a generalization even correct to some degree?

Discrimination is a national disease....a disease contracted way back due to division of sects based on profession. Yes, no one expected it to become such a huge poison of society, but now, on one side, there are many inter-sect marriages, but on the other side,there are these clans who in an attempt to not losing their identity as a caste or whatever, force themselves into serious in-breeding. This is in no way helping society,rather just encourages other groups to 'save' themselves from the mixing happening around. Actors are taken for granted here. From what I have experienced, actors who take on supporting roles,comedians,and serious villains, and so well read,more humane,and very intelligent. Some examples,to quote a few, are comedian Vivek ( can play keyboards,and a nice thinker),villain Nambiyar (personally I think he is a better human being than M.G.Ramachandran) and finally, comedian Veniradai Moorthy (only yesterday I realized that he's a great mind too!). So these seemingly dumb people,have so much to contribute to the world, but they are branded as dumb people, so even if they come out with good writings,they will be readily neglected by the masses.

And I have lost faith on today's youth. I know...I belong to that pathetic section of society too. But I think the youth of yesterday may not have had so much of knowledge on computers, the way the went out on dates, etc. But sure, they knew their priorities in life and knew how to take decisions. How many of us,so called youth, would like to become mayor or president? How many worthy men and women have that dream? Okay...lets not go too far. How many of you guys out there seriously want to get into the armed forces? Even if we want to, parental and societal pressure always wins. Pathetic.

Today's children,especially girls in tamil homes, and so pampered that they lose the ability to make worthwhile decisions. When they enter the nation's workforce,and are forced to leave home and lead an independent life, they suffer. Boys are no exception too. When will this sorry state change? Or rather...will this change? We Indians build bombs, launch rockets,steal most of the jobs in the world;but lack in moral values, basic ethical principles and etiquette What is happening to the quality of men and women in this country?

Still wondering...

Logically it's death,and logic is my worst adversary...

Hello people...

I'm back again with a small something I learnt recently. Tell me...how many times have you wanted to just open your mind and just show what it has got? Life would be really simple right? Yeah...I wish that would happen here...now...

I stumbled across a small poem that I read back in school.."Stopping by woods on a snowy evening" ... I have always admired the last two lines of the poem. They conveyed a lot of meaning to me. Here is the poem for you:

Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village, though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy windand downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -Robert Frost. It is an excellent scene that would have probably lasted for say a ten minute period. The poem is so visual, I can see the poet and his horse. Wonderful poem. The situation of the poem and the way specific information is subdued makes one relate this poem to any life situation. So what is this seemingly simple poem trying to convey? There are certain statements in the first para that suggest that the author is looking at something that does not belong to him. It is ethically wrong to stare at somebody else's property. Even then, he could not prevent himself from enjoying what beauty and joy it has to offer him. Emotions are free and costly at the same time. That price we pay for wrong emotions, just suck the life out of us. There can never be claims of ownership for emotions. So enjoy whatever joy and beauty passes you. Cause in the end, enjoyment is indeed a big chuck of a happy life. I have a strange habit of looking at road trips..the journey may well be connected with life...detours,cross roads...well of course this is a very classic thought, but still I find it very convincing and interesting at the same time. So likewise, here we can see the poet is stopped by something so alluring, so stunning and so beautiful that it just makes him stop in shear fascination. In life,sometimes, such forces do deviate us. that does not mean we have to stop,just look at it, and pass by. I learnt something very recently. The real joy, is in getting down, enjoying the snow fall. Sitting fimly on the ground, experience that sweet disturbance, then go away. I believe that after this, one can concentrate on the journey and mildly forget that blissful intrusion...well at least there was a chance of experiencing it that one used wisely. We as humans, are cosmic dust. We have little to no time on this planet. No matter how famous you are, your name stands for a while, then fades into the depths of a history library. So please try to make the best of what little time you guys have on this planet. Remember...we are cosmic dust. Look up at the stars at night. You will realize how true that statement is. Dust wanders aimlessly but yet doesn't stop. So let us all try to be spontaneous and true like the dust rather than calculating and re-calculating in an effort to futilely predict the unknown future. Logical conclusions are man's best power. They gave way to proper scientific investigations. The world as we know it, is driven by hopes and logic. Two contradicting forces running a chaotic environment is just..not right. But logic does not hold true always....especially in the way humans think. There are just too many unknown permutations in thinking patterns that we can hardly predict. Logic fails...again. So I turn to good hope...again... Let us live for the present... Shall we???

Filling the air that surrounds...

Hai everyone...it's 3 o' clock in the morning...the night is silent, and I'm here typing this entry. I know I would post something today, but was not sure about the topic. I have a youtube video playing a song from the tamil movie "Eeram" . I am happy that new composers like Thaman are doing well these days. I was introduced to a song called "Tharai Irangiya" by a dear friend yesterday. We were sitting in our living room with no power, (thank you govt. of India!) and we had to have some music to keep the place alive cause in my neighbourhood, you wouldn't even know if your neighbour dies accidentally. Probably you would peep out of the window and only then you can find what's going around. I infact don't know the names of the neighbours till now...Well that's another issue.

So coming back to our discussion, I love birds...not individually, but as groups. Their innocence and the way they fly away in groups is all so awesome. And the once pigeons land on the ground, they walk that very swanky walk swaying from side to side. I have always been a fan of this cute walk that birds have. Beautiful...

அனால் அதை விட அழகான ஒரு சின்ன அழகு இருக்கிறது...பெண்ணின் மனதில் ஒளிந்திருக்கும் காதல் அது...நான் ஒரு ரசிகன்!!! அவர்கள் நடை, குரல், பாவனை ,பார்வை அனைத்தும் மாறிட காண்கிறேன்.. எனக்கு அது பிடிக்கிறது ...so...ஒரு பெண்ணின் மனதை காதல் சித்ரவதை செய்வதை எவ்வாறேலாம் வர்ணிக்கலாம்?...கவிஞர்களுக்கும் ,காதல் கவிதை மன்னர்களுக்கும் ஒரு கேள்வி...விடை தேடி அலைந்தேன்...

Poetry has changed now...from the times when Wordsworth wondered at a lady reaping through the farm till the modern lyrics of today's tamil song are just stunning. This song from Eeram, has these stunning lines:

தரை இறங்கிய பறவை போலவே

மனம் மெல்ல மெல்ல அசைந்து போகுதே

கரை ஒதுங்கிய நுரைகள் போலவே

என் உயிர் தனியே ஒதுங்குகிரதே...

I started wondering...எந்த அளவுக்கு வாழ்கையை அனுபவிசிருந்தா இவ்வாறு எழுத தோன்றும்??! amazing.... I was dumbstruck...one of my friends suggested this song long back, but only today I fell in love with this song...

Can there be any other way of expressing such a lovely feeling in such one line? I doubt seriously..but nice effort. The synth sounds and the beat are very nice. Good luck Thaman man..I thought of penning all my feelings but feeling a bit sleepy. The voice is an amazing indicator of our thoughts. The girl's voice in the movie just does that work. I'm waiting for my exams to end so that I can see that movie finally.

The way I look at love has changed...thanks to this song and a bottle of cooool 7up.., I was having a cup of 7up and just look at how I'm able to type even now!! Try it...it rocks!

மீண்டும் மனம் அசையும் வரை...

The knot...

hey guys...

It's late at night, but I promised this entry to someone, so here I am with you guys once again sharing my thoughts on yet another unexpected psychological procedure that brides-to-be go through after their engagements.

Personally, I pity them for getting themselves into this net of uncouth society here. Well, not everybody lives for the society. There must be times when the selfish 'you' takes over. Let me get to the point of my post straight away.

Just because a girl gets into her new home,does not mean that she has to adapt herself entirely. Ofcourse, it is understood that a drastic change in the girl's life is happening, so people, don't we all even have the common sense to give her some time to grow into the new place? Think...

Girls in college usually have a considerable number of male friends. So after marriage, is it implied that the girl has to cut even speech contact with all of them? Isn't this too much of a psychological pressure on the girl? Now I can here many of you saying it's our culture..you dare not say that to me. We change culture to our needs and will. We wear pants, shirts, perfumes, dating, internet, I personally don't know how to pray yet. So, if anyone here wants to debate on this, I invite you to a head on debate...now. We take what is required and throw what is not wanted.

On the contrary, this method of revision of human values with time is a welcome sign in countries like India. But sometimes, very developed people of the society who talk so much about social liberation and stuff cling to the old methods when it comes to their family...their heritage. So were has their sense of social development gone now? Huh?

Disturbing...

And the so called elite youth who pretend to follow westernized tools of socialization are worse than the average joes. Deep down, their roots are so into the evil soil that they just cannot uproot themselves. The end result, no matter how advanced we are, the little ethnic differences and the old traditions keep repeating themselves from inside us.

My final question to all, is marriage a necessity? Please ponder on this. People who feel just like me, (you know what I would say) please also explain honestly whether you'd follow this in your life, so that I can find some one or two interesting reasons as to why this type of change can't happen.

In my world, anything that possibly limits human capability,will and wish is wrong...exceptions are the justice system and the police (partly ;-) ) . So what right has anyone got to force a little girl to follow foreign customs that she is not properly introduced to? This is outrage of women's rights on so many levels, yet I have not seen one banner in any women's rights campaigns. If there is freedom, let it be complete.

Let it be complete...let it complete itself...

Stay awake..till the next awakening...

The thief and the stolen...

Hey...

About say around 4 years back one of my friends in music, produced a song. We are friends through myspace (which was the facebook of yesterday) and he was asking me what video,if shot, would fit this song. So he sent me that song, and I was all alone sitting in my living room.

The lyrics were a bit...dark...the voice wasn't natural, it came from a voice box. So there were so many reasons for me to suggest only this particular story and I knew it would attach itself well with the song.

My story was set in..say probably in one of those very picturesque valley towns. Something like the kind of places you see in Mexico.

It was about a former thief, sitting on a park bench and crying over a card that her girlfriend had given her. He then walks up to an old lady,snatches her bag and runs away.

Another car with around 3 guys inside waits for him. That is when the audience get to know that it is a planned operation. And they escape.

Then follows the dramatic cascade of police chases. In the middle of these, our lead gets images of that girlfriend in his head. Using this we can show the audience about their breakup in love.

And finally the chase gets over, the men are dragged to prison, and the last shot shows the lead character holding a pendant with her picture on it and weeping...again.

I'm not sure again, if I'm effective enough in delivering such a concept to you guys, but all that made me think of such a concept , was how emotions get into the way you perform.

Just yesterday me and a couple of my friends were talkin about this.

Men always need big vents to throw away built up emotions...just like how one of my friends who's into boxing, keeps punching bags just to keep his anger level down. Everybody's got their own style of getting it out. Thankfully I got my music.Atleast I don't have to punch bags of sand ;-) .

The two wonderful phrases that run my life literally are "WHAT IF..." and "WHY NOT?" ...I sometimes get astonished at the scale at which I exercise these two phenomena, but the outcome is amazing believe me. What if, there's never negative energy following a failure? Like in our case, the lead character resorting to steal once again? ...why can't there be a positive change?

Wondering...

Everybody gets hurt now and then. The severity varies, nature varies, but the point of attack is the mind always. We lose stability. We fall down. But how long we take time to stand up, brush the sand of our body and start walking tall is the difference.

I think that most men and women who scale heights have this kind of a fuel that drives them. It is inevitable...the shear nature of our mind demands reason when we move towards a goal. Ofcourse, saying that walking towards goals is like trying to sum up the meaning of life into a simple word. That is wrong. Impossible.

So...I'm adding more fuel to myself..letting it burn...just wanna see how I operate in overdrive.

I've changed...have I not? Hmmm...maybe I have, but I know this is temporary. There is one Mahesh there who always sits in the dark, does music, sleeps a lot, hangs around with himself,find joy in silence. He's that guy...he was a hit product.

Searching for him....again.

Heroism...love...parenting...who would win this game?

Blog எழுதுற பாவி இவன்தான்... அழகா இருக்கான் இல்ல? ..

Hello everyone. Long time since I've posted anything. Had great fun working on my engineering project at a renowned industry at Chennai. Ever since, I wanted to share these small thoughts with you. In fact those little chunks of fire that escaped the fireplace ignited so many minds than my own.

Here I am...headphones on my ears, a very loud television trying to top my volume, I am kinda irritated right now. But something wants me to type this entry. By the way, "I still" from BSB's Never Gone is my latest song...for a variety of reasons which I would like to share with you in this post here.

Sometime back, when I went to the doctor to get myself checked, I came across a gentleman with this small 7 year old son. He appeared to me like an average middle-class man in his thirties. I couldn't help but look at that kid. He was so excited whenever he got a chance to talk to his dad. For a second, I started cursing myself for not being like that when I was young. I seldom speak with my dad except during times of arguement or debate. Too bad...too bad...but atleast now I'm okay with him. So, coming back to our scene, the father helped this lil' boy onto his moped. And the kid wanted to turn the vehicle on using the key. The dad gave him the key and he did turn it on. Maybe this is not a big deal, but the shouts of encouragement the father gave to his son were priceless...I just stood there still. It was a very very emotional sight. I don't know why, but I'm sure not everybody who's reading this gets that feel I got then. My sincere apologies, cause I believe the fault is that I don't know how to write blogs.



Anyway, what I wanted to say is, for each son there is, his dad is king for him. And I take this opportunity to say my dad is the emperor of my dad. I'm a spoilt introvert, so I seldom talk my heart out to anyone. But atleast let me pass this message to all the fathers or the fathers-to-be out there. Your kid will no wonder make you the king of your kingdom, so please see that you keep up the reputation.



Yet another small request I want to make to all the girls' fathers out there, please don't terrorise your girls when it comes to marriages. I find so many choose the wrong guy just for the reason that they might have a better chance of approval by their parents. My point is, what's the point of living if you don't even get the chance to live with someone who loves you?. ..



Sad....very sad...



And coming to my love life, I really don't remember reading any story,book or novel with oh so many twists and turns and quite afraid now. I'm beginning to question my own credibility but knowing that I am a bit impulsive, I just give myself a warm pat on my back and tell to myself "ALL IS WELL" ... I was told by someone that 'that person' can't be pro active, and that just waited for God's orders and if God wanted something to happen he would have made it happen a long time ago, I wanna say only this. The fundamental problem with this theory is, there is no one there like that managing my schedule and my life. And even if there is someone, well...I can't hear him.



So whatever it is, please open your hearts and most importantly your mouths and speak out! It's so confusing sometimes mostly because I don't really care who's there in my life or not. I'm sorry folks, but maybe that is nature. So you can't expect me to coming behind you asking for reasons. You can find me sitting on the couch as if nothing has happened.



Finally, talking about religion and my parents, I am pretty happy with the way they've brought me up. With all the other folks out there forcing their wards to follow some herd, my parents were bold enough to let me decide. Hence, the non-religious, logic driven Mahesh you see typing this blog in front of you. Three cheers for my parents. Enough for now, got lots to tell you folks. A huge social transformation is what I want to happen. Atleast that would make this selfish world surrender to love.....true,uncontrollable,meaningless,amazing thing called love.



A bit relieved...எண்ணங்கள் தொடரும்....காத்திருப்போமாக...

வாரணம் ஆயிரம் பார்த்தேன்...

முதலில் தமிழில் எழுதும் வசதியை செய்துகொடுத்த google நிறுவனத்திற்கு மிக்க நன்றி. மகேஷ் ஒரு பொறியியல் மாணவன்,ஒரு keyboard கலைஞன் ,என்பதற்கு எல்லாம் முன்பாக, மகேஷ் ஒரு நல்ல தமிழன். So here's my current state of mind as I put it in a bilingual foul scratch. Hi hi.

எனது நண்பர் ஒருவர் மேடை ஒன்றில் பேசியபோது கூறியதாவது:

"நான் வளரும்போதெல்லாம் என்னை தட்டி கொடுத்த நண்பர்களுக்கு நன்றி., என்னை தட்டி விட்ட நண்பர்களுக்கு அதை விட பெரிய நன்றி " என்று உரையாற்றினார்.

I have my own complexes. Everyone has...but if we turn them into positive energies, Even the 'oh-so-perfect' individual is no match for us. This small inferiority complex is what fuels my drive towards victory. You could have listened to all these 'rags-to-riches' stories, but lemme tell ye, the truth is out there.

திரைபடங்கள் பார்பதுண்டு, திரைபடத்தை திரைப்படமாக பார்க்க கற்றுகொண்டேன்...உலக உண்மைகள் பல படங்களில் உலாவுவதை கண்டு வியந்ததுண்டு...இருப்பினும் இளைஞர்களுக்காக எடுக்கப்படும் படங்கள், அவர்களது சுத்தமான எண்ணங்களை களங்கப்படுத்துவதாக தோன்றுகிறது. My english teacher used to tell me in school...'partial nudity is the most dangerous element of today's cinema' . I can realize that only now. The point is, there is no clear genre boundaries in art. I guess that is what is causing all the trouble.


I'm not much of a movie addict. Over the years, I've developed a hatred towards Tamil movies. தமிழ் படங்களை பார்த்து Hollywood நோக்கி ஓடிய பலருள் நானும் அடக்கம். பல ஆங்கில படங்களை பார்த்து பிரமித்ததுண்டு. I am a man,so I seldom cry. Atleast now I'm emotionally OK. Before that, during my teens, I don't quit remember crying. I've lived a fairly 'very' smooth life.Today, I bunked class, was sitting completely idle, and all of a sudden started watching வாரணம் ஆயிரம். My friends have long told me that the film was (especially the dad-Krishnan) resembled my real life counterparts. Hi Hi.. :-) But I just couldn't handle Gautham Menon in such a genre. அவர் ஒரு மகா முதிசாளி என்பது அறிவேன், ஆனால்..இவளவு அழகான சிற்பி என்று இன்றுதான் அறிந்தேன். And yes, by shear luck my dad is so much like the father portrayed in that movie. He is waaaay moer than wat I deserve. (And I sure am waiting for Sameera Reddy and the other girl in that movie ;-) hi hi. Hope they're as good lookin as the actresses. ) Yesterday I was going through my certificate file. It has almost every certificate that I've obtained in my life. அதில், சில shooting certificates இருந்தது...I was looking at them and wondering...how we lost many of them in the flood and அதுக்கு எல்லாம் duplicate வாங்க சென்னை முழுவதும் அலைந்த அலைச்சல் எனக்கு மட்டும்தான் தெரியும்...எல்லா அப்பாக்களும் நெனைப்புதான்,என் அப்பா செய்து காட்டுவார். See..I'm not a guy who usually talks like this. But this movie is making me open up. Besides...atleast for once in my life let me speak out.

I'm a mechie.I grow up with machines. But I've never seen an acting machine like Surya. Literally the credit goes to him. He has oberved so much and that is seen quite clearly in the screen. மனைவியிடம் குழந்தை போல மாறுவதுதான் பல ஆண்களின் சுயரூபம்... I saw such a Surya today. Hat's off... you are no ordinary man. The father's role was just stuck to reality. The way he looks at his son, tremendous. Keep rocking Gautham Menon...you are the jewel that Indian Cinema has long been searching.ஆங்கில படங்களுக்கு நிகராக தமிழ் படங்களை தூக்கி நிறுத்தும் கெளதம் மேனனுக்கு சலாம்...

மீண்டும் எண்ணங்கள் கொட்டும் வரை,

உங்கள்

மகேஷ்...

Yup...I see the signs....

Ha ha ha.. just a few minutes ago I tuned into the news and it said in bold letters "GAY IS NOW LEGAL". It was one sentence that I personally didn't expect to see or hear till say about 20 years from now. But yes today it happened. Today school kids are gonna know what same sex marriage is all about. Or maybe India has already educated it's youth about all this...either way,here are the numbers; India is a country with over 2.31 million people who are HIV positive. Our education board is still pretty much confused about including 'education' into the curriculum. Yet we make bold statements about India becomin' a superpower. Oh I guess it is now baby... with all the gay couple spreadin' this disease around without the proper knowledge about what is what. In my opinion, the judgment is pretty cool, it's a great sign that we are (or at least pretending to) respecting individual feelings, but before you bring in a new rule, shouldn't you educate people about what this is all about? I mean half of us don't even know what gay marriage is! And on top of all this, all of the religious leaders are now gonna do what? Sit and pray that the country's 'family fabric' stays intact? Oh I can assure you it ain't now. So many teenagers are now confused about all this that they don't know how to react to such a situation. For now, it's legal, for the sake of being legal. Like what i said before, it will take another decade for us to see gay couples drivin' cars holdin' hand in hand. But I can assure you...India is growing...that's the way shit happens here...